When you’re head over heels in love (or in lust, let’s be honest!) it’s sometimes hard to think rationally. You’re consumed by your crush’s beauty and alluring personality. You know the affair is inevitable.
Maybe if you keep things quiet, you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak. You can satisfy your curiosity without disrupting your family. The problem is…many people who cheat are caught and humiliated…and sometimes their lives are ruined!
The problem is that most of the things your instincts are saying to you, about the logistics of the affair, are totally wrong. You’re thinking emotionally and not logically.
Emotion is fine for the affair itself, but if you’re serious about planning an affair you have to avoid the most common mistakes that get lovers caught – and usually within days or weeks!
So here are four things to look for when choosing the perfect affair partner to not get caught with…
A Smart Liar
One of the best qualities an affair partner can have? A good liar that’s smart enough to cover all the bases.
Sorry if that sounds uncouth, but let’s face it. Poor liars are always the ones who get caught first. Many cheaters are completely inept when it comes to telling a simple lie and then keeping their story straight.
All it really takes to bust a cheater is a suspicious husband/wife interrogating the cheating partner and taking mental notes of what the partner said.
If you (or your lover) blow the cover and the lie is apparent, the affair is pretty much exposed. This is why it’s a good idea to ground excuses in reality and truth, rather than try too hard to come up with elaborate and detailed excuses.
Simple lies (based on some truth that DID happen) are the best way to get away with it.
Choose a partner who is an experienced liar and can create a convincing “story”. For example: a poker game with the guys, a book group with the girls, volunteering somewhere, or seeing family members.
A good sex partner has to have some imagination but also a keen sense of logic. A smart cheating partner will also go over details of your cover story together, anticipating conversations that could tip your spouse off.
They don’t just lie to end a conversation…they plan, and they are precise in the excuses they create.
Married with Children
Someone who is married with children…in other words, stable!
The worst kind of mistress or lover is one who is single, lonely and willing to do ANYTHING to get your attention. Sure, these fools are pretty or handsome…but they’re too much to deal with if your priority is to have a discreet affair.
That’s why it’s best to choose someone with a family, with multiple responsibilities, and with a “perfect life” on the exterior. In other words, someone who has just as much to lose as you do.
Mothers with children, an active social life, or with a demanding husband certainly don’t want to rock the boat, and more often than not, will desperately help you keep the affair secret and discreet.
Not in Your Inner Circle
Someone outside…way outside your family and circle of friends.
Most affairs that happen with friends of friends or friends of relatives are destined to be discovered. The best advice for keeping an affair quiet is to find someone who’s not at all related to you, or that has anything to do with you.
So no, your spouse’s best friend, your co-worker, your boss, your landlord – they might be hot fantasies but these are all terrible scenarios and are at high risk for being discovered through the grapevine.
People talk. Find a sex partner who literally knows nothing about your circle of friends.
Yes, this means the best way to date is online, using one of the best affairs websites or apps, where you can select the location and keep your information anonymous. True, it may not be emotionally engaging to have an affair with a stranger but…
Not Looking for More
You WANT someone who’s not looking for an emotional relationship.
Ideally, you don’t want emotion involved in your affair. If your partner’s marriage is terrible and crumbling and they need someone to save them, love them or coddle them emotionally, you’re asking for trouble.
The best kind of sex partner is someone not looking for emotional investment. They may enjoy emotional sex, but they are NOT in need of love. This person already has their emotional needs met through their marriage or other committed relationship.
If you want to fall in love, prepare for a messy scene. If you want to have an affair discreetly, make sure this is just a physical relationship and nothing more.
Pick someone who’s invested in their life and in a comparable situation to you – someone that doesn’t want to lose their family, home life, business life and reputation. The more you find a partner who’s more in line with your thinking, the less stressful this steamy affair will be!