How to Avoid Jealous Affair Partners: Look Out for These 7 Signs

Warning: just because you find someone on the Internet who says they don’t want drama doesn’t mean they’re telling the truth!

Drama queens (and kings) tend to lay low and make you THINK it’s all about sex. But the truth is, they enter these relationships for dysfunctional reasons. They WANT the drama and that’s pretty much all they get from it.

The best thing for you to do, if you want to keep this affair discreet and problem-free, is to learn how to identify jealous affair partners and avoid them like the plague. Look for these “symptoms” of malfunctioning lovers.

They want to “save you”

These lovers are an episode of The Young and the Restless waiting to happen. It’s not enough that you’re together for the moment…they want to believe that they are saving you from your terrible life. They are your savior and you owe them the world.

That’s a dangerous place to be if your objective is to have guilt-free fun. In an ideal affair, both partners respect the emotional bonds of the non-cheating spouse. They want the marriages to work…they don’t want to trade partners. If your sex partner has delusions of rescuing you, avoid them at all costs!

They’re lonely and want to fall in love

First rule of affairs – don’t fall in love. You can’t afford to lose your family. Most single men and women who enter a relationship “open-minded” are a huge risk. What you do want are closed-minded lovers who understand this is a purely sexual relationship with no hope of emotional fulfillment.

Polyamorous lovers, sugar babies and escorts are closed-minded in that they know there are rules that should never be broken…and that these relationships are ultimately doomed. They have no delusions about falling in love and that is what you want to find.

They want to know too much

Avoid lovers who ask too many personal questions or who want to talk about life.

Sorry, but casual affairs are NOT about finding a second spouse. While it’s tempting to play “house” with the other affair partner and confide everything you dislike about your home life, it’s a dangerous game.

If you love your spouse, you emotionally confide in them. You leave sex for your lovers. There are plenty of fun and sexy things to talk about with a lover, in fact so much so, that there should be no extra time to talk about “real life.”

If talking about cheating on your spouse(s) turns you on, then make it vague. Don’t go into detail and don’t ask for more information. Keep things fun and mysterious.

They think about the future

Avoid partners who keep thinking and talking about the future…with you in it.

The future is supposed to be uncertain. Affairs are about the now because there well may never be a tomorrow. Partners who insist on knowing the future of the relationship are trouble.

You, talking about the future to a partner (even if you think they understand that you’re just goofing around) is a big mistake. Do not lead a casual partner on to think there’s a future when there clearly isn’t.

They feel guilty

Avoid partners who admit that they feel guilty.

For one thing, don’t bring up guilt. No one really wants to talk about guilt during an affair. But beyond that, if your partner admits readily that they have second thoughts about what they’re doing, it’s usually a red flag that this is going to end badly.

If you’re lucky, that means they might just stop seeing you without an explanation. But if you’re not so lucky, they might confess to their partner what has happened out of guilt and a need to repent for their mistakes.

They don’t respect boundaries

Avoid partners who cross your boundaries and constantly test you.

Seriously, don’t underestimate the crazy psycho-sexual partner who constantly pushes you past your limits. Sure, it’s sexy at first…but eventually you realize the thrill for them is in manipulating you and toying with you.

Their motivation is to break you, to provoke you, and to bring out your weakness. They are primarily motivated by jealousy; even though they may not want you all to themselves, they DO want your attention constantly.

This can get ugly very fast. The best sexual partners are people who are not emotionally volatile one way or the other, but respect the discretion and boundaries of both partners.

They’re single

This is somewhat controversial in affair circles but if you really want to err on the safe side and avoid life-destroying jealousy, take our advice and avoid singles and stick to people who are married and have children.

People who are (seemingly) happily married are far less likely to become jealous or try to transform the relationship into a new marriage. They realize that their family life is content…it’s everything they want socially and emotionally.

They just realize that they need a little bit extra kink. This means that they have just as much to risk as you do, and so they will collaborate with you on believable alibis to keep the affair secret.

Don’t Want to Get Caught? 4 Things to Look for in the Perfect Affair Partner

When you’re head over heels in love (or in lust, let’s be honest!) it’s sometimes hard to think rationally. You’re consumed by your crush’s beauty and alluring personality. You know the affair is inevitable.

Maybe if you keep things quiet, you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak. You can satisfy your curiosity without disrupting your family. The problem is…many people who cheat are caught and humiliated…and sometimes their lives are ruined!

The problem is that most of the things your instincts are saying to you, about the logistics of the affair, are totally wrong. You’re thinking emotionally and not logically.

Emotion is fine for the affair itself, but if you’re serious about planning an affair you have to avoid the most common mistakes that get lovers caught – and usually within days or weeks!

So here are four things to look for when choosing the perfect affair partner to not get caught with…

A Smart Liar

Things to Look for in the Perfect Affair Partner

One of the best qualities an affair partner can have? A good liar that’s smart enough to cover all the bases.

Sorry if that sounds uncouth, but let’s face it. Poor liars are always the ones who get caught first. Many cheaters are completely inept when it comes to telling a simple lie and then keeping their story straight.

All it really takes to bust a cheater is a suspicious husband/wife interrogating the cheating partner and taking mental notes of what the partner said.

If you (or your lover) blow the cover and the lie is apparent, the affair is pretty much exposed. This is why it’s a good idea to ground excuses in reality and truth, rather than try too hard to come up with elaborate and detailed excuses.

Simple lies (based on some truth that DID happen) are the best way to get away with it.

Choose a partner who is an experienced liar and can create a convincing “story”. For example: a poker game with the guys, a book group with the girls, volunteering somewhere, or seeing family members.

A good sex partner has to have some imagination but also a keen sense of logic. A smart cheating partner will also go over details of your cover story together, anticipating conversations that could tip your spouse off.

They don’t just lie to end a conversation…they plan, and they are precise in the excuses they create.

Married with Children

Someone who is married with children…in other words, stable!

The worst kind of mistress or lover is one who is single, lonely and willing to do ANYTHING to get your attention. Sure, these fools are pretty or handsome…but they’re too much to deal with if your priority is to have a discreet affair.

That’s why it’s best to choose someone with a family, with multiple responsibilities, and with a “perfect life” on the exterior. In other words, someone who has just as much to lose as you do.

Mothers with children, an active social life, or with a demanding husband certainly don’t want to rock the boat, and more often than not, will desperately help you keep the affair secret and discreet.

Not in Your Inner Circle

Someone outside…way outside your family and circle of friends.

Most affairs that happen with friends of friends or friends of relatives are destined to be discovered. The best advice for keeping an affair quiet is to find someone who’s not at all related to you, or that has anything to do with you.

So no, your spouse’s best friend, your co-worker, your boss, your landlord – they might be hot fantasies but these are all terrible scenarios and are at high risk for being discovered through the grapevine.

People talk. Find a sex partner who literally knows nothing about your circle of friends.

Yes, this means the best way to date is online, using one of the best affairs websites or apps, where you can select the location and keep your information anonymous. True, it may not be emotionally engaging to have an affair with a stranger but…

Not Looking for More

Things to Look for in the Perfect Affair Partner

You WANT someone who’s not looking for an emotional relationship.

Ideally, you don’t want emotion involved in your affair. If your partner’s marriage is terrible and crumbling and they need someone to save them, love them or coddle them emotionally, you’re asking for trouble.

The best kind of sex partner is someone not looking for emotional investment. They may enjoy emotional sex, but they are NOT in need of love. This person already has their emotional needs met through their marriage or other committed relationship.

If you want to fall in love, prepare for a messy scene. If you want to have an affair discreetly, make sure this is just a physical relationship and nothing more.

Pick someone who’s invested in their life and in a comparable situation to you – someone that doesn’t want to lose their family, home life, business life and reputation. The more you find a partner who’s more in line with your thinking, the less stressful this steamy affair will be!