So…you’ve been using Tinder, Craiglist, Ashley Madison and KIK for a while now. But you just can’t seem to find ANY women interested in you. What gives?
“I thought the ads said hundreds of hot women were just waiting to chat with me!”
You have to wonder at some point why none of these “fish” are biting and whether there really are plenty of these hot cheating marrieds in the sea or not. Do they not like married guys? Do they not like the way you look?
Well allow me to explain why some men are batting zero and others are, ahem, scoring and hitting a home run every weekend. I’ve observed these tidbits of advice through a long and careful research process consisting of:
- Hitting on married women through online dating sites.
- Meeting wild women in bars.
- Going undercover as a married woman and seeing what guys are saying.
- And asking women online straight out, just what are most guys doing wrong in dating?
Here are eight reasons I found that men are not getting laid…regardless of how much they pay for exclusive membership.
Try to understand the plight of the married hottie. She’s being bombarded with message requests and barely has time to respond to a few, let alone converse with someone at length.
She immediately tunes out guys who ask ASL?, or talk in too many abbreviations, or just respond with a “hi”. She needs something more dramatic, or funny, or interesting or at least more emotionally evocative.
Ultimately, if you’re one out of 2,394 guys who are sending her uninteresting one-liners…what incentive does she have to respond to you?
You’re too lazy
From my experience with women in person and texting, what I’ve learned is that they are waiting on you to entertain them. I don’t really believe in the saying that says, “Men are just too horny.” Because women ARE horny.
But it’s just that men are so lazy nowadays they just say a slew of four-letter words and demand their female audience send naked pictures.
Where is the effort? How are these men EARNING this attention? These guys are not over-the-top perverted, they’re just lazy. They want a woman to do everything for them without giving them much of anything besides a foul mouth.
Women can be just as dirty as you…but you have to turn them on. You have to make them laugh, make them feel, and make them interested in the conversation.
So put in the effort before you expect her to .
Bad profile descriptions and bad photos
Let’s be honest, some guys are just way out of their league if they’re going after 10s and 9s with a double chin, creepy mustache picture for a profile.
Even worse is the fact that a lot of guys fill their already ugly profile pictures with gibberish – boring descriptions that either say too much or too little.
Here’s the trick: make sure your profile features an attractive photo and then say something that makes a woman FEEL. Don’t tell them your life’s story. Don’t be melodramatic. Be funny, be sexy, or be intelligent.
A profile is a first impression and not putting any thought into it, will get back nothing.
You’re saying too much
From my female interview subjects I found out that quite a few intelligent guys were being filtered out from dates because they tried too hard in the initial conversation.
While it’s good to be intelligent and put forth effort to please a woman, writing a long-winded text is just too taxing on the brain. She wants to feel more so than she wants to think. Keep things mysterious rather than overly literary. No need to go full Sheldon Cooper.
You’re too drunk…either online or in person
Generally speaking, a man should be tipsy (a little buzzed) and match the mood and temperament of a woman. Too many men (especially in bars) make an ass of themselves and end up stinking drunk – and somehow they think this entitles them to drunken sex.
Not likely…most women will not go home with a drunken lunatic, even if they’re slightly drunk. They want to feel and remember the sexual experience, not guide you to the toilet.
You’re an asshole
Too many men misunderstand the rules of seduction. Rather than being funny and antagonistic, these guys are just plain rude and mean-spirited.
They say vile things hoping to get a reaction, but end up scaring the woman off – and rightly so. Players ARE nice guys…they just know how to push those buttons at the right time. But being insulting to a beautiful woman is always a one way ticket to Lonesome Town.
You’re not “marketing” yourself as above average
Really, the only thing a woman needs to go home with you is to see evidence that you’re above average. No woman wants to make out with an average guy. So decide upon what makes you unique and run with that.
Make that the focus. Whether it’s your imagination, sense of humor, body, confidence, whatever it is, let that define you and let her know you can offer this quality more than anyone else. Climb out of the gutter of being too ordinary.
You’re too friendly and not enough sexy
Let’s be honest. Married women, or really any woman looking for a casual affair, is not looking for a good friend. From what I’ve observed, way too many guys approach women in a totally non-sexual state.
They chatter, they ask about a woman’s day, her life, her happiness and so on. But they don’t talk about sex. Or they demand the woman tell them her fantasy. It doesn’t really work that way.
A man should be charming, intelligent and classy…but he should nonetheless be interested in sex and be very forward in telling a woman what he wants. The key is to be subtle and creative…not to be ambiguous.
These eight reasons are enough to friend-zone you into hell! Make it a point to the become the opposite of all these mistakes. Show a woman why you’re sexy guy and why you’re a cut above the rest, and you will definitely see an uptick in the affairs you find online.