Is there an ideal type of affair partner if you don’t want to get caught and just want to enjoy sex guilt-free and easy?
Yes and it’s usually not the type of lover that makes for wild sex fantasies. Cheating within the in-laws family, or workmates, or household help or neighbors, is risky business. Most partners agree, choosing someone you don’t already know, and who’s married and also responsible for a family, is the safest best.
But it’s also well known that not all married partner want to cheat – and even some single people will not fool around with someone who’s married. This leaves you in a pickle! Who are, statistically speaking, the most likely lovers you’re going to be paired with and what are the pros and cons of dating each?
The Married Lover
Let’s start with the most obvious choice. A married person you meet on the internet or by happenstance in a physical location, is a sure bet for a discreet affair. The fact that they’re married ensures that you will both work to keep the affair private and the two families undisturbed.
Pros: Definitely have an insurance policy, since you can both collaborate on lies and work together on building evidence of your non-cheating.
Plus, married partners rarely leave their spouse, especially if they have younger children, so you don’t have to worry about this getting blown out of proportion.
Cons: Married partners typically lack something in their marriage – usually emotional fulfillment. Therefore, they may begin to treat you as a second spouse, rather than just a lover. They may be eager to share news, eager to talk, and may even confide in their partner’s bad behavior.
Strangely enough, some married lovers will even mention their partners to their spouse in a platonic way – sort of testing their limits. Or bragging. In short, married lovers tend to come with drama in some fashion or another.
The Clueless One Night Stand
Whether you meet this person in a bar or a club, one thing’s obvious. It’s only going to last one night. All you do is mindlessly flirt, dance, drink and avoid too many personal questions. It’s easy to have a one night stand IF you avoid talking about being unhappily married.
Pros: Many lovers you meet in a bar or club will either be oblivious to the fact that you’re married or simply won’t care. If there is an immediate attraction between the two of you, it’s likely your odds of getting laid will increase. Since you may never see this person again, this is a great choice for frequent travelers.
Cons: The bad news here is that some lovers will really want to know that you are not married. And if they are naïve and believe that you’re single, or widowed, or divorced, and then find out the truth somehow…there could be hell to pay.
This person may take your lie personally and see fit to tell your spouse. This is why you really have to make sure it’s a one night stand and not a recurring relationship.
The Workaholic Executive
This lover is pretty stressed…and as a result, he/she tends to lose their conscience and inherent sense of guilt. They know you’re married and don’t care because they don’t have much time to date or love to give, and so figure, a married partner is just what they need.
Their motivation is usually a strong sense of competition with your partner (or your partner’s personality type) or maybe just the thrill of winning a married lover.
Pros: Great at keeping drama to the minimum. Professional-minded. Travels frequently and not likely to be possessive. Always looking for the next conquest in between their career ladder climb.
Cons: Will likely get bored of you, so enjoy it while you can and don’t make a scene when he/she decides the affair is done.
Polyamorous lovers refer to a “marriage” of sorts, usually involving multiple partners who are faithful in a non-monogamous way. This may include swinging couples, threesome marriages, BDSM masters and slaves, and so on. Some DO prefer that their lovers not be married, but surprisingly, many don’t.
Pros: These lovers buck the traditional concept of marriage and so they often entertain lovers who are married, since they understand your non-monogamous desires better than anyone.
Cons: These people tend to be defensive about their own lifestyles and sometimes judgmental about yours. Don’t be surprised if you clash with them when it comes to etiquette or differences of opinion. They want what they want and will essentially demand you be a willing slave. Not for all tastes, but if you like to please they will have you!
The “kept women” of the modern era, sugar babies can make surprisingly great affair partners. These lovers tend to be younger and are willing to readily give you exactly what you want…granted you scratch their back as well with regular shopping trips and all their living expenses taken care of.
They enjoy the idea of breaking the rules and having a (rich) older lover spoil them with gifts and free rides. If you want fun (and have the resources), sugar babies are a great way to spend your savings account.
Pros: Sugar babies actually seem to enjoy being flaunted around town, are up for sexual relationships, and many don’t care that you’re married. Their youth makes them particularly open to suggestion, so be a teacher in the bedroom.
Cons: You better have enough money because once you stop paying, the sugar relationship is over.
Men and women on the “rebound” are so wrapped up in themselves, they will usually not care about your marital status. They just want to be desired and seen as very attractive – even worth leaving your spouse for!
The typical story is that they just got out of a long relationship and are not looking for another…they just want sex.
Pros: The good news is they really DON’T want to ruin your marriage. They just want reassurance and ego-massaging.
Cons: Don’t expect these lovers to last very long. As soon as they get their self-esteem back they will dump you in a hurry and go back to living a pristine social life.
Escorts may well be the ideal choice for a discreet sex partner. As a movie star once said, “I don’t pay women to have sex with me…I pay them to leave.” Escorts understand this lesson more than anyone and frankly, it’s part of their job description.
They’re paid to leave, to be professional and not clingy. Escorts don’t care about marital status…they just want to get paid.
Pros: You really do get your choice of body and personality types. Escorts tend to be more intelligent and cultured than bar hopping girls, prostitutes and drama queens looking for married men to jerk around.
Cons: There is some concern over STDs, although some escorts may agree to be tested. Then again, many will not and will insist you just use a condom. Condoms are not guaranteed to protect against STDs, unfortunately.
As you can see, all of these affair partner types have their pros and cons and can be ideal for you, depending on your situation. Weigh the pros and cons and determine what you can live with, and what you can’t. Avoid drama and stick to the loveless sex. That’s what make affairs fun and stress-free!